January 30 2004
Quotes I likes!
- You son of a motherless goat!
- Someone's been down here with the ugly-stick
- farlyfarlyfarlyfarlyfarly....hafuuhhhr!
- They've got an....an It! An giant It!
- Yeah, that's what I said. I said i'm setting booty traps.
- I've been following my gut since I was 14 years old. I've come to the conclusion that my guts have sh*t for brains
- How does an average guy like me become the number one lover man in his particular postal district?
- Is it better to burn out than to fade away?
- Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead.
- 1) Why if I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called in to solve the mystery. 2) You forgot the octopus. 1) No, no, I'm saving that for my big underwater climax.
- My wife left me for another woman, and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint. Does this qualify me?
- Lucas! Joe. Lucas. joe. lucas. wheres the money? joe, the money is gone. wheres it gone to? Atlantic City. is it comming back from atlantic city? i dont think so. whats it doing in atlantic city? recirculating.
- We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, leaughers...Also a quart of tequilla, a quart of rum, a case of budweiser, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls...But the only thing that worried me was the ehter. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge...
- cows are gonna kill me...bisexuals are gonna kill me
- 1)Yeah, you've gotta get back to work. 2)you scirvy schyster bastard, i'm a doctor of journalism man. Now get in there, and clean your shorts! Clean your shorts God damn it, like a big boy! Go on!
- Excuse me while I whip this out.
- Hey! Where all da white women at?
- I want rustlers, cutthroats, murders, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglars, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!
- be seated now I don't have to tell you good folks what has happened in our little town .... sherrif murdered crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cows raped.
January 30 2004
Oh shit!
I think we have now entered another rung of hell, bushy ol boy up for nobel peace prize?? Are more people doing crack out there now. I think I need to drink alot, and often.
Capt.
January 30 2004
It's Cold!
-30 for the temp alone. My truck was not very happy to be started this morning, our whole weekend is suppose to be just as cold.
Capt.
January 28 2004
Superman!
Ok, if you want to hear some messed up news, check out the link, it's about the cast of the new Superman movie they are trying to do. All I have to mention is beyonce & Johnny Depp, now they have depp as lex, but I think he would do well as Superman, and Billy Zane would do awesome as Lex. Now beyonce, are you shitting me, do they want to drive people away, how about we try a real actress, not a singing bitch who can't act to save her large ass. Seriously, if they want to make a movie that will be great and can continue like spiderman has done and x-men, then they need to do it right. The biggest reason I am into this is the fact that I grew up reading the comics and watching the movies, it's one of the many things from my childhood I like to keep around, like many things people do. So anyone who likes these movies, who would you like to see and why?
Capt.
January 28 2004
60 degrees F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Minnesota sunbathe.
50 F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant
gardens.
40 F: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with
the windows down.
32 F: Distilled water freezes. The water at Lake Bemidji in Minnesota starts
getting cooler.
20 F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People
in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt, buttons open.
15 F: New York City landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 F: All the people in Miami die. Minnesotians close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians escape en masse to Mexico. Girl Scouts in Minnesota sell cookies door to door.(In facet, they're selling them right now!!)
25 below zero: Las Vegas disintegrates. People in Minnesota rummage
around the attic to find some winter coats.
40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Some Minnesotians are frustrated when they can't start their "kahs".
460 below zero (absolute zero on the Kelvin Scale): All atomic motion
stops. People in Minnesota start saying . . . "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. VIKINGS
win the Super Bowl!!January 28 2004
It's Cold!
I woke up this morning to a balmy -56. That's including the wind chill. Now let's see NY and other states handle that, they bitch about a foot of snow or temps in the teens, get real people, come to MN if you think you can handle it. I never understand why it is such a big deal for the east coast to get hit with snow storms, it is winter after all people, yet the midwest gets no recognition, then again, we don't bitch about it, we just deal with it and don't make it a national news story, because it isn't, so quit your whining about getting snow & it being cold, because you don't have it that bad. On another fun note, waking up also involved finding out that the heat is not on, that is one thing I am not fond of, I like it when the boiler is kicking out alot of heat through the radiators, heat would be nice.
Capt.
January 27 2004
Memories!
Today I caught the rerun of the series finale of Home Improvement. I've always loved the show, hell I think I have seen every episode at least 2 or 3 times, and I would watch them all over again. The thing I think is great is how much a simple episode of a show can remind you of things that went on when the show was playing. I keep thinking about how it is that memories come about, you hear a song or a word that reminds you of something, you watch a show or movie that reminds you of a date or another event. It's amazing how simple things bring back so many thoughts and ideas and also how they make you smile. Sometimes I wish for those memories to come back again, things were good and I was sometimes happier, not complaining now, not that much at least, but I would like some of those things back again.
Capt.
January 26 2004
Dirty Spokespeople!
Ok, if you live in MN or even a neighboring state you may have seen the Watkins Pool store commercials or the All American Recreation commercials. Why in the hell are the girls dirty lookin skanks, seriously, the watkins girl refers to herself as a superstar, and that why she likes wears a star. Oh shit, are people really that dumb, because she ain't acting folks, that is pure whitetrash hoing. The All American Recc girls looks like the senior easy girls or the freshmen fresh meat at a house party waiting for their video chance. Now I like women, I have a very beautiful wife and see otehr women as attractive as well, but when did skank become the new thing? paris hilton should not be your role model ladies, hint for you from guys, when I was in HS and college these were my thoughts on slutty girls, still are today, but more in college; you're slutty, you'd be good for screwing around with a few times and then were done and on to the next one, possibly your friend, sister or roomate. The reason is simple, slutty girls are fun but when it comes to bringing you home or wanting to make it longterm, we know if you are slutty now what's stopping you down the road, not to mention, too much baggage that comes with ya.
Capt.
January 25 2004
Thoughts!
Why the hell do they have award shows, most of them are annoying as hell and the people who often deserve to win never do. It annoys the hell out of me. Also, found this tid bit of info that is interesting about the WGA and how they may be on strike again. Check Buddhas for alot of interesting posts, there is some great links he has to the WGA thing and some other really interesting items. His thoughts and views often express what I want to but I sometimes lack that coherent expression I want. Other rants to come, many things floating around.
Capt.
January 25 2004
Politics!
I'm not a big political person, personlly I think it is a lot of bullshit. Question though, can anyone tell me why the primaries are in new hampshire and why in the hell iowa has the caucus? Seriously please, I am trying to understand why little ol iowa is used and why the snobby rich people in new hampshire are used, is it where all the politicians are bought, anyone?
Capt.
January 24 2004
Where I have been!
Places I have been, I definitely need to increase this I tell you. Had to update, forgot a place.
http://www.world66.com/myworld66
January 24 2004
Ireland
Has just recently passed what will be the strictest ban on smoking. All public places, restaurants and every pub will be smoke free, finally. The Prime Minister is doing this because he feels since 2nd hand smoke can kill people with causing cancer he wants to stop it early. Which is smart, if people choose not to smoke why should they have to put up with the stank, clothes smelling like shit or that nice dry eye and hazy look of places people smoke. The thing is, even the bar owners and restaurant owners are supporting this, they think it has gotten out of hand as well. It's about damn time. I wish the USA would get on the band wagon with this one. Recently a bar by my place added on and made the new addition smoke free, they even toyed with making the old part smoke free, but sad to say they didn't. People argued and said that they would lose customers and business would drop, are you shitting me. It's a bar, probably the best bar in a 60+ mile area, they could have a dress code, smoke free and be picky about who they let in and they would still be raking it in. It's that kind of bar, now if mpls. and st.paul would get going I would love it, because if I go eat somewhere and have some asshole who chooses to smoke (not calling you an asshole buddha), sits a ways from me, can I sue them for endangering my life, afterall, if they want to kill themselves go ahead, but get the hell away from me you stank ass, shit breath motherfucker. Have a good day. Gotta love Ireland.
Capt.
January 24 2004
Gaiman Speaking & Ellis Speaking.
Anyone interested Neil Gaiman will be doing a reading. Check out the site for information, if anyone makes it to it or if they end up playing it on the radio somewhere let me know how it is.
Also, I am on the Warren Ellis bad signal email list, he is apparently working on a spoken word cd, I think that would damn interesting to hear. Also, keep your eye out for his new stuff coming out, Desolation Jones and some other series sound like they will be pretty damn good.
Capt.
January 23 2004
http://homokaasu.org/gematriculator/
January 23 2004
Bible Thumpers!
Ooh, now this was a very fun day. It starts out by snowing and then from there it got more interesting. I'm on the phone working, from home, which I have been doing alot lately, also in my Homer slippers, gotta be in style you know. Well, anyways the doorbell rings right as I am finishing up on the phone, I answer and find 2 girls standing there with pamphlets, already I have an idea of where this is headed. To sway off the path a little, the reason I know where it is going is that I have experienced this many, many times. Not just bible thumping preachers either, mormons, people selling things, (don't go there buddha) and other various occurences. Hell, I have had so many people knock on my door and ask me about living in the bldg. and how much it is and if there are any apts. available, now why the hell would you ask me, does my door say landlord or owner on it, NO. Besides that, why the hell would I tell you how much I pay, none of your business, I've even had people say I'm here to see so and so in the bldg. could I wait at your place? Sure come on in, why'll you are here belittle my friends and try and drink my liquor, you fucking bastards. Back on the path, anyways the thumpers, girls, start talking about how in todays world nobody really does what they say anymore, my first thought is you haven't met many of my friends or myself have you. They talk about god being honest and giving us the truth and showing us the way, yeah right, as quoted in a movie, "god is the biggest prankster of all." Hell, i believe about as much of what god says in the bible as I do what politicians or police tell me is for my own good, rotten son of a bitches. To finish, she asks if I would like to read the pamphlets to find comfort in some honesty and I looked at her and said no thanks, besides, humorous religous stories are not my style.
Capt.
January 21 2004
Kevin Smith
When Kevin Smith first came out I never really watched many of his movies, that's all changed thanks to Buddha. Since then I have become a big fan of everything he has done, movies, comics, pretty much anything. No, I'm not a fanboy, just like the things he does. Well, I found the trailer for his new movie, Jersey Girl, I have to say it looks to be a great film and I cannot wait to see it. No matter what people say about the whole Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez shit, damn people, let it go. Daredevil was awesome and I think Affleck will be good in Jersey Girl, so on the Capts. recommendation everyone go see it on March 19th, 2004. A little promo from me, not that it might matter.
Capt.
January 21 2004
Another day!
Ok, what the hell is going on? I've now seen 3 more college age students pull up in front of my apt. bldg., run across the street and take some photos then get in and leave. If I was the paranoid type I might think they are checking out my bldg. to break in. Seriously though, if it wasn't so damn cold out I would run out there and ask them what the hell they are doing. But my capt/cokes are inside and I don't want to go outside, maybe I could just yell at them alot, maybe that would work.
Capt.
January 20 2004
January 20 2004
Quick post!!
As I sit in my sunroom writing I happend to look out the window and notice a guy writing in a notebook & taking pictures of my apt. building. Now I can kind of see this, it's a very cool old 1920's apt. bldg. but the picture thing just seems odd.
Capt.
January 20 2004
Nothing Special..
Today's post is a concoction of many things floating around my head. First off, read an article talking about how many famous people are becoming writers and publishing books. The article stated that the reason the books even do well is due to the publicity teams they have, then the article turns around and states that basically it sucks. These actors/actresses/singers/dancers are getting these opportunities while the people working their ass off for a chance to become published lose it to stars. I have to say that I agree, it's total bullshit, why don't the stars just stick to what they are making the gazillions at, some of them have true talent, but many, wow, are they sure they want to say they wrote it and some of them I have a feeling have a nice ghostwriter to help.
Other thoughts, who's more corrupt, police or politicians? Why in the hell is politics and the stock market so damn annoying and messed up? Is it me or is donald trump a jackass? When will the reality shows go away, man so many of them suck really bad? When did it become cool to be in porn? Are dr. apts. for porn stars a tax write off?
More thoughts to come, damn cold weather is nasty and my brain refuses to want to function correctly.
Capt.
January 18 2004
Neil Gaiman!
I was surfing around Neil's site and found out he is doing a poster for ALA, the series on celebrity posters to promote reading for school children. Check out the site, the posters and bookmarks are pretty cool.
Capt.
January 15 2004
WTF?
Ok, in America one of the greatest things we have is freedom, freedom for alot of things, including the contempt for authority, one of my favorites. My view is that cops & politicians fall into the same category, asskissing, bullshit artists on a powertrip for all of their life. Now, I read this story that involved, showing contempt to authorities, a crime in
Capt.
January 14 2004
A day of many posts.
Now this guy is one messed up individual. I read about him in an article about everyone going to hell, then I found out he owns the Washington Times which is going broke, and too boot he has contributed $1 million to bushy ol boys library and bushy thinks that the paper is great, wonder why, they both have the same view on gays. Now even good ol doc schlessinger is getting her opinion in on gay marriages and how "they will destroy america", lovely ain't it. Here's the article about bushy and the moon guy.
Capt..
January 14 2004
Sad day for Freelance Writers!
This has got to be a great misjustice when a magazine declares bankruptcy and then sues the writers that wrote for them. The owners want money back, funny thing is almost all of the owners are wealthy so what the hell are they doing, and besides that, who would want to work for them if they know they might file bankruptcy and then sue your ass for money. Damn republicans just itching for more money, bastards.
Capt.
January 12 2004
Good. You know your music. You should be able to
work at Championship Vinyl with Rob, Dick and
Barry
January 12 2004
Bad Words!
Does this surprise anyone. A republican, poor bastard, wants 7 bad words he finds offensive to be put on a list in which they cannot be said in any way, shape or form. Hello govt., this is not the most important thing you have to worry about, also, have you not gotten the hint to stay out of the censorship business. It's pretty sad when people are using the tv as an excuse for why their kids say things, hi, have you looked at the world today, kids know more at the age of 8 or 9 then most of us did when we were 13 or older. The things i have heard kids say dwarf the things we use to say and think we were getting away with. If parents cannot monitor what their kids watch, read, listen or play, why the hell should the govt. have to. I'm not going to watch tv if every other fucking word is bleeped out or edited, why should the rest of the population have to make up for stupid parents including the republican in this story.
rat bastards, son of a bitch, motherfucking assholes. Ah, I love free speech.
Capt.
January 12 2004
New CD!
Dave Matthews Solo Album - Some Devil. An awesome cd, if you like DMB check out Dave with Emylou Harris on CMT Crossroads, it was pretty damn cool.
Capt.
January 12 2004
Movie Quote!
This is a quote I totally agree with.
"He pissed me off, but look the week before I met you I nailed 2 crooked Real Estate agents & a guy who was beating his kids to death. So if some Houdini wants to snatch a couple swirls of paint, that are really only important to some very silly rich people, I don't give a damn."
Know where it is from?
January 11 2004
Neil Simon!
I found an interesting thing out the other day, there are a lot of Neil Simon's plays, books, movies that I enjoy. The interesting thing is that I didn't know that Neil Simon did the movies that I enjoyed, had no clue, until I saw the recent ad for The Goodbye Girl that is playing on TNT next weekend. I started looking online and found out many of the movies I like, such as Out of Towners, with the great Steve Martin, is a Neil Simon movie. It's interesting when you start to look at the movies out there and who it is that wrote them or whatever novel, play, short story it is based on.
January 9 2004
Jesus needs clothes!!
You must check this out. I'm not sure who developed this but it's damn funny. Surfing around Chesters site I found this link, it was pretty funny.
Capt.
January 9 2004
Busted TV!
My tv died after 9 long years of entertaining me & many others. So me & the wife had to make a decision to get a new one, we decided that we watch alot of movies and a fair amount of tv that we should get a new one. So we decided on a Sony, it's unbelievable and very, very nice. Too many nice things to say about it, you'll have to check out the specs to see.
Sidenote!
If anyone is or knows anyone who may be looking for a fax machine let me know, I cannot get rid of the thing to good will or anyone, email me and we'll talk price and I can give you info on it as well if you are interested.
Capt..
January 8 2004
Jeep Baby!
Ok, I own a Jeep Wrangler, probably one of the best vehicles I have ever owned. It is by far the most enjoyable one, ask anyone who knows me, their is nothing like driving around town with the top down, tunes cranked & it 95 & sunny out. It doesn't get any better then that, ask Buddha, he'll tell you. Now Jeep is coming out with possibly 2 new vehicles that are extensions of the Wrangler, one is a for sure the other is a maybe, but check them out, I'm definitely interested in an upgrade at some point if these are nice. Here they are, Jeep Wrangler Unlimited & the Jeep Rescue, which I have to say is one bad ass looking Jeep.
Capt.
January 6 2004
News items!
First off let me say that everyone needs to get over the whole Croc Hunter deal with his son. People keep bitching about him & why? He's a professional, he did this when he was young, the way he defended himself on tv against people I felt was awesome. He didn't back down, instead he almost challenged them about what they felt he did wrong, way to go Steve, keep it up, people just need something to bitch about. 2nd thing, Britney, or as I call her, a great lip synching actress. Has nobody figured out that this was just a publicity ploy, let's say we were hammered and get married, then I heard that she is nailing the guy & has been for a few weeks, finally the lip synch girl is getting some, way to go. I wonder what news stations would report on if someone said we don't report on the stupid shit, it'd be pretty boring, but then again the news is already boring, so who knows.
January 5 2004
The Goodwill!
The one thing I like about the new year is that I get in that mode to go through all my stuff, clothes, videos, etc. and see what is going to the goodwill. The best part of this is getting rid of things I no longer wear or use, but I also get a nice little tax write off for the next tax year which is always appreciated when it comes tax time.
Capt.
January 5 2004
Question?
After New Years I started thinking about times I have partied a little too much, I know we all do it, what I am wondering is. What is the worst night of debauchery that you have had while consuming vast amount of adult libations?
Now I want to hear some good ones, I have a few myself, just not sure which one would be good to post. Now I know some of you reading this have some good ones, so share. A hint of what I am asking for, a buddy of mine has a huge list, one includes passing out in the garage on his way home from the bar, problem, it wasn't his garage and he was about a block from home. So share what you have, it's always good to hear about nights you wish you wouldn't have done something.
Capn.
January 3 2004
Quick post!
If you are ever feeling like you are really poor or aren't at the point where you want to be financially, do not, I repeat, DO NOT watch MTV's/VH1's show The Fabulous Life of whomever. That will just depress your ass even more. Watching it has got to be one of the biggest in your face things that has ever been developed, talk about feeling shitty afterwards, I watched it and kept asking why in the hell my parents weren't wealthy so I could just inherit a shit load of money, much easier then this working my ass off with no payoff.
Capt.
January 2 2004
A Quote!
Here is a quote from one of my favorite actors, see if you know who it is & let me know what you think of them.
"A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true."
Capt.
January 2 2004
Interesting Thought!
Why is it when people say that money will not buy your happiness it is always the people who have the money and usually the ones that have pissed it away on stupid shit. To tell you the truth, hell yes it will buy happiness, give me a couple of million and I'll show you how happy I am, debt free has a tendency to make me a really happy person, I mean really happy. I find that I get more annoyed with stupid comments like the money can't buy happiness, or as a friend has pointed out the line, life is too short enjoy it while you can, I have to agree with her, it's starting to bug me now.
Maybe it's my age, but I highly doubt it considering the fact that my personality is unlike anyone else's I know. I think it has to do with the fact that I am thinking, and have always, but more so now, that people just need to be more honest. If someone bugs you, fine tell them, this bitching to a friend or family member gets annoying. I've always been as honest as I can be without being to mean about it, I think I may change that and say screw it, if I come off mean then so be it, can't please everyone and there is truly no use or desire on my part to try and please everyone.
For 04 my wife wants to have a more positive attitude, which is great, usually I have the more positive attitude, but as of late I am getting annoyed with shit so I just don't care, but she told me I have to be negative in another room, makes sense, don't want to fuck with her karma too much. I don't know anymore, I don't know if anyone does as far as what the hell to do to try and stay ahead of the game or at least to not be drowning with everything that we as, what are we generation x, have to deal with, hell my parents had it a hell of alot easier then I ever have. Then again they might say the same thing about my generation, as I said, who knows.
January 1 2004
New Year New Laws!
Who thought this new law was a wise one?
"And Illinois makes it illegal to drive in the left lane of an interstate highway for more than one-half mile. (Violators can be fined $79)."
What happens when you are passing someone and how do they think traffic may become, I swear lawmakers are complete assholes and idiots. Does this mean a cop can be ticketed then, after all the law does apply to everyone 
